glorious_spoon: (keys)
[personal profile] glorious_spoon
TW: PTSD

Usually, he can assume the age he looks, sink into the bones and flesh of this too-young body and pretend--even to himself--that he’s nothing more than what he seems, that time still holds sway over him, that he hasn’t lived a lifetime past what's written into his skin.

He looks thirty-five, and he is, more or less. He could work out his exact age if he bothered to do the math, but measuring the time he’s spent on earth seems kind of pointless these days. Sam didn’t get that the first time around, but after the Cage, he’s caught on.

(sometimes Dean looks at Sam and he doesn’t see his baby brother, the too-tall, too-tired, tough soldier kid that he’s managed to raise; sometimes he looks at Sam and all he can see is Hell, decades of it, a whole goddamn century of it, and he wonders if cutting Sam’s throat while he sleeps wouldn’t be the kinder option after all.

and he doesn’t do it, he can’t do it, but he doesn’t know if that’s sanity or selfishness)

They don’t celebrate birthdays anymore.

Date: 2013-09-22 08:04 pm (UTC)
meus_venator: (Brothers)
From: [personal profile] meus_venator
This rings so true, When they are ground down and beaten, this would be what Dean thinks about. Saving his brother in a completely unimaginable way.
Heartbreaking.

Date: 2013-09-22 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Thank you!

I am still trying to work up the courage to watch the rest of Season 8. Does it show? :)

Date: 2013-09-22 08:10 pm (UTC)
kalliel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kalliel
I am in love with you. Please marry me, Spoon.

Date: 2013-09-22 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
\o/ it's legal in my state, you know. :P

(in other words, HAI BB!)

Date: 2013-09-22 09:25 pm (UTC)
kalliel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kalliel
Polygamy? XP

(HELLO HELLO how have you been??? I miss you. <33)

Date: 2013-09-22 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Well, not that part. :P

I have been good. And BUSY. But things finally seem to be quieting down now, at least for a little while. How about you?

Date: 2013-09-23 01:10 am (UTC)
kalliel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kalliel
Some quietness from busyhood is always good. <3333 I moved to Michigan about a month ago (PhD at UMich). I was very un-busy and might be getting more busy but I refuse to accept this shift. XDDD

Date: 2013-09-22 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] borgmama1of5.livejournal.com
Talk about a swift punch in the gut! Oh, this hurt because it felt true!

Date: 2013-09-30 03:10 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-09-23 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tifaching.livejournal.com
Ouch, but so very, very plausible.

Date: 2013-09-30 03:10 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-09-23 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] irismay42.livejournal.com
You can actually see Dean's weariness in later seasons, and this is a really good explanation for that. I'd not actually considered that, despite what his birth certificate might say, Dean has "lived" a long longer than he appears to have.

Date: 2013-09-30 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
I was re-watching the earlier parts of Season 8, and yeah--on some level, I think he's reached an equilibrium with it, but he just seems tired and old, you know?

Date: 2013-09-24 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luztremula.livejournal.com
That was awesome.

Date: 2013-09-30 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

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