Author's Notes & Acknowledgments

[glorious_spoon]

Okay. So, this is the longest thing I've ever actually finished, and it ended up being about twice as long as the story I was originally planning to write. First of all, I want to thank my betas: writing_racoon  for her encouragement, naatz  for smacking down my fits of melodrama and pointing out my characterization and continuity fail. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

I also want to thank ginzai  for her gorgeous illustrations, and everybody on my flist for cheerleading me this whole time.

And to all the nonymice on spnpermanon : thank you for scaring me into giving this a second (and third) look-over before posting.

A couple of notes on the story itself:

1. Canfield is a fictional town. It is located tentatively on the inland tip of North Carolina, not far from Asheville; I invented it mostly to avoid the pitfalls of writing about an actual town or city I've never visited. While I have spent my entire life in a rural area and I've visited North Carolina, I have no direct experience with small Southern towns. I hope that I haven't made too many significant errors in my portrayal of the people and culture.

2. I'm aware that in this story Dean never fully comes to terms with his sexual orientation. While I'm not fond of the WNGWJLEO trope and that isn't how I intend the relationship to come across, I realize that it probably will come across that way for at least some people.

As far as I'm concerned, the Dean in this story is bisexual. He has had some negative early experiences that combine with his unexamined attitudes about sex, gender, and his own identity to make casual sex with other men problematic for him, but he is not a straight man in a one-off relationship with another dude.

3. I realize that not everyone will agree with my concept of the timeline here; I wrote it with the assumption that the series starts with Sam in the first semester of his senior year at Stanford, and that his freshman year would have started in the fall of 2001. There are still some discrepancies with this interpretation, but it's what worked best in terms of the story.

4. Feedback is love. If you read this, please take a minute to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is welcome, even if it makes me want to go hide in a hole somewhere. XD

Hope y'all enjoyed--

Tassia

Comments

[aubergineautumn.livejournal.com]

This story was so sad, you mad me cry. Really well written as wonder down the years and shift the POV. Also, Sam sucks and your portrayal of lost!Dean and self-absorbed!Sam really makes sense.

[glorious-spoon.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you. I actually like Sam in general, but I think the time periods I ended up writing were not the most flattering on him.

[viggorlijah.livejournal.com]

This was excellent. A slow sad grind down without the sense of a story narrative, but just - this is how it is, the inevitability of real life. No-one felt sketched in, even though they might only get a couple of lines, it felt - full and heavy with the weight of Dean's life, and things unsaid but known.

[glorious-spoon.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much :)

the inevitability of real life.

This was exactly the effect I was going for, and I'm so glad that sense of reality worked. Thanks for the review!

[getyourguns.livejournal.com]

That was simply gorgeous. You really fall in love with Jay and all the other characters like you know them. Definitely heartbreaking in the best of ways. One of my favourite Big Bangs this year, definitely. Thanks for writing it!

[glorious-spoon.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm really glad to hear that my characterizations worked here, and I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed this. :D

[rince1wind.livejournal.com]

Hey. I didn't read this yesterday when I finished the story (it was way too late and I had to work today). I used to live in North Carolina, and this could certainly be there. I read the last chapter through again just now, and it is really moving. I hope you keep writing; I'm wondering if you have other, non-fan-fiction stories too? I love Supernatural and -- after this! -- I'll read anything you write with its people, but if you've published anything else, I'd love to read it.

feedback

[manuela75.livejournal.com]

I loved your story. All your OCs are so real, loved Jay of course but I enjoyed the bad guys' portrayals too.
I loved how you handled Dean's sexuality. You are very talented in story telling, I'd definitely read any other story from you (hint :)
The nature and dynamic of Dean and Jay's relationship is so easy to imagine as part of the series' storyline.
And I cried through nearly the whole last chapter ;)
It is a beautifully written and moving story, I hope to see more from you soon. Thank you for sharing

Re: feedback

[glorious-spoon.livejournal.com]

XD Thank you so much!

I'm really glad that you enjoyed my OC's and the way I handled Dean's sexual identity (non) crisis--that was tough to get right, so I'm glad I managed it.

I'll definitely be writing more in this fandom, never fear...:)

[siberian-skys.livejournal.com]

That was an amazing read. Jay and your other original characters were so real. And I think you got Dean just right.

[demondean.livejournal.com]

I've read it once before but happened to read it again today and it's still very moving and sad.