glorious_spoon: (thriller)
[personal profile] glorious_spoon
Title: No Dark Sarcasm
Pairing: Dean/Alastair
Rating: R
Warnings: Torture. Dark themes. Basically what you'd expect with this pairing.
Summary: Dean's never liked to play, but that's just because he's shy. Missing moment from 4.16, Alastair POV.

A/N: Yeah, so I don't know where this came from. There's probably something wrong with me. Title from 'Another Brick in the Wall' by Pink Floyd.


Alastair is an artist.

That's not quite right, of course. He is a whittler, a carver, a dissector of souls; but he prefers to think of what he does as art.

It has a more poetic ring to it. In any language, and he knows them all. All the languages of the Earth, all the words that taste of pain, all the ways a soul can beg to keep its small, tarnished shreds of humanity. He carves away the fat and gristle to reveal the shining shape beneath. Draws beauty out of ugliness.

Art.

And here is his greatest masterwork standing stained and ruined before him. Forty years to scrape him clean and it's only taken a few months topside for him to start gathering putrid scraps of his old self to him, like a pauper grasping at coins. Or a pig rolling in shit. It works out to the same thing.

Heaven, I'm in Heaven and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak...

Oh, this is perfect. Just perfect. Dean. Dean, here before him when Alastair was so sure he was lost forever. Here and hurting and twisting himself up deliciously inside. Perhaps there's hope for him after all.

This is a very serious moment for you, isn't it?
he asks.

Dean, of course, won't play. All the questions, all the irrelevant questions. He doesn't want to be here. He's never liked to play, but that's alright. He's just shy. Alastair knows how to bring him out of his shell, how to peel away his skin and all those tiresome layers of self-righteousness along with it. It's slow work, stripping away all those layers, but it's worth it in the end. Oh, so worth it.

Oh, and there's the angel outside the door. Outside the door with his back turned. You saw that, didn't you, Dean? Didn't you see that? They took you away from me, but it was only so they could use you. Only so they could use what I taught you.

The symmetry is beautiful. Dean is beautiful, even in the rotting meatsuit he's wearing now, all hollowed out eyes and bitter mouth smiling.

You were prettier in the Pit, Dean. Remember when you were a creature of sound and shadow? Remember how they screamed? That's your true self, not this crude mess of beer and women, laughter and dreams. Nightmares are your business now.

The blade slides through him, trailing agony. Lovely. Lovely.

Oh, Dean, such fine work. Such a good student. The best student.

And now, finally, he's playing Alastair's game. He doesn't step back. His hand hovers near Alastair's face, braces, catches, fingers pressing hard through flesh and into bone, finding the shape of the skull beneath the face that Alastair wears.

Lovely, Alastair whispers.

Shut up, Dean whispers back, but he doesn't mean it now. His hand twists the knife deeper, and blood rushes hot from the wound. Alastair screams for him, watches the smile warp his lips into something more familiar. Humanity sliding away, and leaving only the perfect figure that Alastair carved.

Lovely.

The knife slides away too, and there's only Dean, the fierce shape of him, all darkness and fury when he pushes Alastair's head back and kisses his mouth. His lips are demanding, precise, and he tastes of whiskey and pain.

And now he's stumbling backwards with something breaking behind his eyes, and Alastair lets his bloody mouth find the shape of a smile.

Date: 2009-12-30 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deangirl1.livejournal.com
Disturbing... but on the money. Love your description of Dean in the pit "a creature of sound and shadow"... lovely writing here.

Date: 2009-12-30 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Disturbing was...kind of the effect I was going for here, I think. Thanks for the review!

Date: 2009-12-30 07:44 am (UTC)
ext_318595: (Default)
From: [identity profile] hollow-death.livejournal.com
Is this the result of one of your friend's influence or was it you?
Lol

Deliciously written! Lol

Date: 2009-12-30 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
This was largely the influence of four shots of whiskey, actually. But no, I can't really blame anything other than my own twisted psyche for this; that and the fact that I re-watched 'On the Head of a Pin' last night and was stuck anew by how freaking scary Dean was in that ep.

Thanks for reviewing!

Date: 2009-12-30 03:44 pm (UTC)
ext_318595: (Default)
From: [identity profile] hollow-death.livejournal.com
And fyi, we're al in this with you! :D

Date: 2009-12-30 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
It's good to know I'm not alone :)

Date: 2009-12-30 04:24 pm (UTC)
ext_318595: (Default)
From: [identity profile] hollow-death.livejournal.com
Haha! I'm actually proud to mention, spn is offically know as a cult fandom! So yup, you're not alone! :P

Date: 2009-12-30 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tifaching.livejournal.com
I love Dean/Alastair and Alastair's take on Dean in the pit. Carves away the fat and gristle to reveal the shining shape beneath. A creature of sound and shadow. Such terrific images. Well, not terrific, but terrifically written. Great story.

Date: 2009-12-30 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Thanks! I love Dean/Alastair, partly because the pairing is so inherently screwed up (and also because there are some serious undercurrents to their interactions in that ep).

Glad you enjoyed.

Date: 2009-12-31 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lylithj2.livejournal.com
That was beautiful and painful.
I loved it!

Date: 2009-12-31 12:22 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-12-31 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com
YES!! GODS, YES!!!!!

*SAVES*

Date: 2010-01-01 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
*grin* Thank you! Glad you liked.

Date: 2009-12-31 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mneiai.livejournal.com
I'm not sure if "*shivers*" or "*fans self*" is the right response ^.^ This was great, I loved your Alastair POV, the proprietary, proud feelings he has towards Dean, and, especially, the very end.

Date: 2010-01-01 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
That's actually exactly the response I was hoping for. :-D.

I love exploring Dean's dark side, because for such a generally decent happy-go-lucky kind of guy, he can be seriously frightening. And I think that's exactly what made him fun for Alastair to toy with. It's just such an interesting dynamic. I'm so glad you enjoyed this!

Date: 2010-01-01 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mneiai.livejournal.com
Have you posted to [livejournal.com profile] spn_suchpromise?

I definitely agree that there's a very real dark side to Dean that his time in Hell probably helped bring to the surface--I remember during Heart a lot of people were saying stuff like "huh, you know what, up until now, Dean's pretty much killed all the human-looking monsters" and things like that, and it really puts some things in perspective. And Alastair obviously saw the potential *grin*

Date: 2010-01-01 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Yeah, and it's funny; I'm totally a Dean!girl, but I think a lot of people just gloss over his twisted side. Maybe because it's so different from how he normally is? Sam's darkness is much more integrated into his personality, but Dean's got a little Jekyll/Hyde thing going on. Which is kind of fun.

I haven't actually posted over there, but I should. It looks like a great comm.

Date: 2010-01-01 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mneiai.livejournal.com
but Dean's got a little Jekyll/Hyde thing going on. Which is kind of fun.

So true. He's a fascinating character. I really wish they had more mentions of what he was doing in hell--once Alastair was killed, they just stopped mentioning it, but surely other demons should be bringing it up (Crowley should've, at least, great opportunity to tick Dean off).

Yeah, it's a cool comm. It's been really quiet lately, but every once in a while a great fic will pop up.

Date: 2010-01-04 03:24 am (UTC)
tigriswolf: (animal)
From: [personal profile] tigriswolf
This is gorgeous.

Date: 2010-01-04 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2010-01-04 07:17 pm (UTC)
amaresu: Sapphire and Steel from the opening (supernatural-whatashockaly)
From: [personal profile] amaresu
This is lovely. I love the way you've written Alistair here and the way he thinks of Dean. So very perfect.

Date: 2010-01-04 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed.

Date: 2010-01-04 07:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zatnikatel.livejournal.com
Gah, so lyrical and vivid... the torture scenes in that episode were so homoerotic it isn't true. I see you also thought that one moment when Dean leans in might end with him kissing Alastor!

Date: 2010-01-04 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Yeah, I think there was some definite subtext in that scene. And Dean being all dark and twisted, which is always interesting :P

Thanks for the review!

Date: 2010-01-06 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taylor-serenil.livejournal.com
I love the dark and disturbing beauty of this.

Also, I liked the kiss at the end. Dean/Alastair is so very, very fucked up as a pairing and the kiss really emphasized that.

Date: 2010-01-06 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Thank you! Yeah, it really is a kind of profoundly fucked up pairing, and I really wanted to get at the idea that there's some part of Dean that would choose it willingly. I don't think it's a part of himself that he really wants to think about, but it's still there.

Glad you enjoyed.

Date: 2010-01-28 03:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salientdreams.livejournal.com
This was recced in today's edition of [livejournal.com profile] crack_impala :D

Date: 2010-01-28 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
Wow, thank you! *is flattered*

Date: 2010-01-29 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleshflutter.livejournal.com
This was seriously lovely. <3

Date: 2010-01-29 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
*grin* Thanks!

Date: 2010-07-23 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com
Augh, yes, this is what I want out of Dean/Alastair.

My favorite part: You were prettier in the Pit, Dean. Remember when you were a creature of sound and shadow?

I also like this:
Alastair screams for him, watches the smile warp his lips into something more familiar. Humanity sliding away, and leaving only the perfect figure that Alastair carved.
and the last line.

Lovely!

Date: 2010-07-23 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glorious-spoon.livejournal.com
I have a really unhealthy degree of love for that pairing, TBH. I think it's because Dean's dark side is such a gut-punch. I'm so glad you enjoyed this!

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